June 16, 2010

Prop 8 Defense Attorney Confuses Marriage With Sex

Closing arguments were heard today in San Francisco for the historic Prop 8 trial.  Defense attorney Charles Cooper argued against gay marriage thus: “The right to marry … is bound up with the fundamental purpose of procreation and the existence and survival of the human race.”

Marriage as a government-regulated institution is mostly about property distribution, which comes into play when you divorce or die.  What’s tied up with procreation is the immense human urge to fuck, which exists with or without MAWWIAGE.  By the way, we already have too many fucking people on the planet; if you don’t think that our resources are stretched thin and our very survival threatened, just take a dip in the Gulf of Mexico.  Folks gay or straight should have the right to marry as long as they’re willing to take responsibility for the well-being of their partners and pets, and that includes not spreading STD’s to their partners and pets.  One doesn’t need marriage to fuck for procreation or recreation.  (That is not to say that marriage is a bad idea, from a Jeebus- or other heart-centered perspective.)  The perceived need for government oversight in human relationships is a sad testament to the tenuous nature of our bonds and commitments.  However, Prop 8 = Prop Hate.  Every couple should have equal access to government supervision, even though it’s a lame idea to start with.  At the end of the day, a good marriage doesn’t need a fucking government license, and a good fuck doesn’t need marriage.

(This case is expected to go all the way to the Supreme Court, so please tweet this to your friendly Justices: @scotusLASTNAME, e.g. @scotusROBERTS for John Roberts.  These accounts are managed by hacks, but they are not fake.  Also, it’s “scotus” not “scrotus” … I don’t know why it took me a few tries to get that right.)

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